that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
