So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Be still, my beating vagina.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
