hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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