So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
