He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
