He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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