these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You were trust falling into bushes
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
