Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
