worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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