i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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