So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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