I wish I could punch you in the face.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you had me at cake vodka
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
