Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
