marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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