Who wears a wallet chain?!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
