Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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