2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
