We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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