dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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