Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
