508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
