do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
ttyl tear gas
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
