i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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