well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
you never un-have a 4some
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
