I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
