i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The beer is more important than you right now.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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