it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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