What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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