3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
