My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
