Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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