Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
