butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
