So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
