I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
