you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
