i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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