i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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