her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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