do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
