I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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