found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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