# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
