My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
