Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
