No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the condom got lost in my hair
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
