Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
