I'm gonna have a badass scar
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I didn't notice because vodka
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
