i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's shark week go big or go home
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
