Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
