Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
