a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
there is glitter all over my balls
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
