Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Hippo gnu deer
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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